Wednesday, January 28, 2015


Thursday, March 27, 2014


This name drives me nuts. Names that end in "son" drive me nuts in general, when they're used for little girls (I'm looking at you, writer of the movie "Splash", for starting this trend), but Addison is the worst, and I have no issue with laying the blame right on Shonda Rhimes's doorstep.

Shonda Rhimes created Grey's Anatomy. Up until Grey's Anatomy, Addison was a boy's name. Now, however, there are little feminine Addisons running around wherever you look, and every single one of them is Shonda's fault for naming a major female character a boy's name. (SON MEANS BOY.) Of all the trendy TV show names, this is by no means the worst- see Khaleesi for that particular honor- but it's still pretty damned grating.

The worst part of it is that, although the show is full of godawful names like Arizona and Ellis, there are some pretty good names as well that no one is using. Calliope. Meredith- which used to be a masculine toned last name, but after 100 years, we can finally ignore that since there's not a damned SON in the name. Adele. Richard. Good names. STRONG names.

But all we get is a plethora of tiny Addisons. Alas.

Thursday, May 23, 2013


I'm a geek. I admit it. I read lots of fantasy and sci fi. I go to conventions. I watch things like Doctor Who and get all overemotional and cry. I watch Game of Thrones, and I've read the series that it is based off of about 5 times, which is a prodigious feat (words, words everywhere). My husband and I have jokingly talked about naming out next kid Arya or Daenerys after the books (well, not so much Daenerys, not really. Arya, though, that's a possibility).

So today I learned that lots of people are naming their daughters Khaleesi. Khaleesi is not a name. Khaleesi is a title. Khaleesi is a title in a made up language called Dothraki. It translated roughly to Queen. I mean, so far as you can translate a word from a totally made up language to English.

The title is used, on the show, in place of the full name and title of Daenerys Targaryen, called Storm born, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, the First of Her Name, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Mother of Dragons, and so on and so forth and I don't want to spoil anything so I'll just stop there. It goes on. The point here is that it's not her freaking NAME. These people aren't naming their kids after Daenerys Stormborn. They're naming their kids after the fictional wives of the fictional Dothraki leaders, who themselves are famous for raping, pillaging, burning, and enslaving, who can't even fictionally make it through a fictional wedding without several people getting eviscerated and/or grabbing the nearest woman for some not exactly consensual sex. This is not a good thing to name your child after. Not even if you really, really, REALLY like to watch Game of Thrones.

You wouldn't name your kid Princess (I hope).

You wouldn't name your kid Queen (please just say no.)

You certainly wouldn't name your kid after a REAL wife of a raping, murdering warlord.

So don't name your child after the wife of a fictional one, either.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Pop Culture

I'm so sorry for this kid that I am going to make her name invisible to search engines.

Bell. Atriks. Cora. Line.

Look, I gave a passing thought to naming my kid Hermione, before I realized that it's actually a horrible name and that I shouldn't inflict it upon any child, regardless of how much I love Harry Potter. I love the fact that so many people are naming their kids Lily after the book, though. Lily is an awesome and lovely name, and if I didn't personally know 5 people with kids named Lily or Lilly, I would totally use it of we have another girl.

But Bellatrix? Really? You named your kid after Bellatrix Lestrange and you didn't even spell it right? And then, because naming your kid a bastardization of the second baddest baddie in Harry Potter wasn't quite goth enough for you, you had to add CORALINE? Are you so goth you shit bats and black leather, or what? If it had been a boy, would his name have been Voldemort Sandman? Pettigrew Crawley? Or would you have just pulled out all the stops and named him Peter Murphy Neil Gaiman Dracula Voldemort Death Black Morbid? And Coraline... yeah, it's a pretty name, but the movie is kind of disturbing, don't you think? I mean, is this kid gonna spend the rest of her life wondering if she has an Other Mother and Other Father somewhere with button eyes? And it's not ever going to fade from public consciousness. Coraline might, a little bit, but Harry Potter isn't going anywhere. People are going to be reading that one until the collapse of civilization. Bellatrix Lestrange wasn't exactly a lovable character. She was kind of nasty, with the nasty hair and the racism thing and the penchant for, you know, killing people. But you just go on and saddle your kid with that name for the rest of her life. When she's a teenager wearing all black, mainlining coffee, writing bad poetry, and hiding in the closet to cut herself, you just remember that you asked for this.

(Reminder: This website is a work of satire, so no one try to sue me over this post.)

Monday, January 30, 2012


I need you to help me organize a posse.

We're going to track down this newborn's father, and we're going to take away his man card.

Who's with me?

I like Twilight and I'm not ashamed to admit it, but here's the deal; naming your kid after momentary pop culture icons is just maybe not the best idea ever. For instance, I'm not going to run out and get a Jacob tattoo (although I do have a wolf on my ankle, he is named after Cafall from The Grey King and can in no way be tied in to Twilight). Yesterday I considered a Fluttershy tattoo, but the pony/brony phenomenon will probably be fleeting, and will I really want that when I'm 90?

It's the same thing. When this kid gets to be a teenager and his friends find out he's named after Twilight, well... let's just go get than man card from his dad so the poor kid can have two when he grows up.

He'll need them.

Friday, December 30, 2011


I understand that they meant God's Will, but what I read was god swill.

Apostrophes are important!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

J-mee and Kay Cee

A double post today, for your christmastime entertainment.

Let's tackle J-Mee first. Seriously, now, did the parents of this child expect great things of her, or what? President J-Mee Smith. Doctor J-Mee Jones. Fry cook J-Mee... now that sounds much more likely. Jaime and Jamie are both cute and acceptable names for girls, although not imbued with as much dignity as I strive for when naming my own children, but J-Mee just looks, well, stupid. There's just no way around it. It's dumb. It's taking cutesy to a level best reserved for fru-fru dogs and baby dolls. The kid might like it during high school (because oh, does it ever sound so very high school )but come the day she first has to put down that particular moniker on a job application and realizes that it's going to look like utter crap, she's going to curse her parents and start hunting for a name-changing application.

She'll no doubt be joined by poor Kay Cee. Kay Cee is going to spend a large part of his life fighting other boys because he has quite possibly the cutesiest, girliest name that I have ever seen inflicted upon a male child. It would have been better to name the kid Sue. Now, Casey is a fine name for a boy. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, it's been a male name for at least a hundred years, and everyone knows the name. Spelling it Kay Cee for a boy, however, is just asking for trouble. Kay, after all, is a girl's name. Kay Cee is just awful. It's feminine, cutesy, and I dare say even lazy. Who the hell spells out letters in their kid's name? I mean, other than this kid's mom. This poor child is going to go through life with half of the people who see his name thinking he's a girl named Kay. He's going to have thousands of phone calls for Miss Kay Cee Insertlastnamehere. People who think his name is spelled the normal way will spit milk out of their nose the first time they see it in print. Girls will laugh at him. Boys will torment him. Snarkers will snark at him. And all because his mom chose to give him a name that was cute, and adorable, and GIRLY, instead of just using the proper damn spelling. I think that the only thing that could have made this name worse would have been the use of a dash... like poor J-Mee. Now Jay Mee would still have caught my attention, and I may have even snarked upon it here, but at least it would have been used on a girl, and therefore would not have shocked and appalled me like Kay Cee.

Oh well. J-Mee does have one thing going for it. Unlike Le-a, the dash DO be silent.