Cullen

I need you to help me organize a posse.

We're going to track down this newborn's father, and we're going to take away his man card.

Who's with me?

I like Twilight and I'm not ashamed to admit it, but here's the deal; naming your kid after momentary pop culture icons is just maybe not the best idea ever. For instance, I'm not going to run out and get a Jacob tattoo (although I do have a wolf on my ankle, he is named after Cafall from The Grey King and can in no way be tied in to Twilight). Yesterday I considered a Fluttershy tattoo, but the pony/brony phenomenon will probably be fleeting, and will I really want that when I'm 90?

It's the same thing. When this kid gets to be a teenager and his friends find out he's named after Twilight, well... let's just go get than man card from his dad so the poor kid can have two when he grows up.

He'll need them.

Godswill

I understand that they meant God's Will, but what I read was god swill.

Apostrophes are important!

J-mee and Kay Cee

A double post today, for your christmastime entertainment.

Let's tackle J-Mee first. Seriously, now, did the parents of this child expect great things of her, or what? President J-Mee Smith. Doctor J-Mee Jones. Fry cook J-Mee... now that sounds much more likely. Jaime and Jamie are both cute and acceptable names for girls, although not imbued with as much dignity as I strive for when naming my own children, but J-Mee just looks, well, stupid. There's just no way around it. It's dumb. It's taking cutesy to a level best reserved for fru-fru dogs and baby dolls. The kid might like it during high school (because oh, does it ever sound so very high school )but come the day she first has to put down that particular moniker on a job application and realizes that it's going to look like utter crap, she's going to curse her parents and start hunting for a name-changing application.

She'll no doubt be joined by poor Kay Cee. Kay Cee is going to spend a large part of his life fighting other boys because he has quite possibly the cutesiest, girliest name that I have ever seen inflicted upon a male child. It would have been better to name the kid Sue. Now, Casey is a fine name for a boy. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, it's been a male name for at least a hundred years, and everyone knows the name. Spelling it Kay Cee for a boy, however, is just asking for trouble. Kay, after all, is a girl's name. Kay Cee is just awful. It's feminine, cutesy, and I dare say even lazy. Who the hell spells out letters in their kid's name? I mean, other than this kid's mom. This poor child is going to go through life with half of the people who see his name thinking he's a girl named Kay. He's going to have thousands of phone calls for Miss Kay Cee Insertlastnamehere. People who think his name is spelled the normal way will spit milk out of their nose the first time they see it in print. Girls will laugh at him. Boys will torment him. Snarkers will snark at him. And all because his mom chose to give him a name that was cute, and adorable, and GIRLY, instead of just using the proper damn spelling. I think that the only thing that could have made this name worse would have been the use of a dash... like poor J-Mee. Now Jay Mee would still have caught my attention, and I may have even snarked upon it here, but at least it would have been used on a girl, and therefore would not have shocked and appalled me like Kay Cee.

Oh well. J-Mee does have one thing going for it. Unlike Le-a, the dash DO be silent.

Lunden Bray

I believe that I have made my feelings known about the name Lunden. London is fine. Lunden is atrocious.

Now someone in this fair city has stepped it up a notch. Not only did they use horrible spelling for Lunden, they also followed it up with a middle name that is THE SAME SOUND A DONKEY MAKES.

To top it off, Bray is also a small town in Ireland, which is like naming a kid Seoul Pyongyang. I mean, England and Ireland aren't exactly known for their great and historical love of one another.

Brae I could have dealt with. Stupid, but not the exact spelling of "the harsh sound that a donkey or mule utters". But Bray? Seriously? Bray? You didn't once run that through Google, or Webster's, or anything? It never occurred to you that it is (and I cannot get over this) THE SOUND THAT A FRIGGIN DONKEY MAKES???

Yeah. I'm sure this kid will have a lifetime of fun dealing with that.

Linky goodness

A nice article on how to KISS when choosing a baby name.

Well, it's been awhile. I just found one worthy of this blog, though: Kadynx.

Kadynx?

Is it pronounced like Cadence? Or Kah-dinks? Or Ka-denks?

All I can hear in my head right now is the sound something makes falling down the stairs. Ka-dynx ka-dynx ka-dynx thump.

LOL

Is this where we're headed? Are there really people out there who would ACTUALLY go and name their child LOL? (Sadly, I think I know the answer to that question...)

I mean, how do you pronounce it? Lawl? Ellohell? WTF?

Next, someone's going to name their kid :) and then society will collapse.

And whoever suggested this name for this site needs to be horsewhipped for even mentioning the possibility. Some teen mom out there is going to see that and think it's perfect for her baby. Teen mom, I can assure you, it's NOT. NOT NOT NOT.

Argh.

And where did I find this? Why, failblog, of course....