Othniel.

I'm really almost speechless here. Othniel? For one thing, it's damned near impossible to say. For another thing, it's OTHNIEL. It's neither cute nor witty. It does not roll musically off of the tongue. Some day, this kid is going to be old enough to complain about this.

OTHNIEL.

Ladies and gentlemen, sometimes I don't need to snark. Sometimes the name just snarks itself.