Saturday, February 20, 2010


I got this one off the back of a minivan, from one of those stickers that advertises every member of the family.

Like this:

Ahh... I love that sticker.

Anyway, this poor mite is named Laken, and as usual, I tried to follow the thought process of the adult who did the naming.

(You know it's a bad name when your spell checker objects, by the way.)

So maybe it's someone who didn't quite want to follow the Jayden trend. Commendable.

Then, perhaps, they thought of the Jayden alternative, Kalen.

(Always makes me think of kale, than name...)

So I suppose that they thought perhaps Kalen was slightly too trendy. The obvious thing to do, to them, was to switch the K and L around. Taa-daa! It's not Jayden, it's not Kalen, but it's just as frickin' stupid. Although I'm sure the parents gave themselves quite a pat on the back for cuteness and originality.

Or am I barking up the wrong tree here... is it pronounced a totally different way? Is it not lay'ken, after all, but rather la-ken'? God, that would be even worse. Laken doll. Heh.

Well, Laken with a long A is bad... Laken with a short A is much, much worse. I hope young Laken got off lightly (relatively) and got the long A.

And remember, people, creative spellings will cause creative pronunciations. Keep this in mind.

(I hope this kid's mother doesn't read my blog and start beating me over the head in the grocery store or something. I gotta find some bad names that are from out of the area.)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

What a smurfing stupid smurf.

It's been awhile- things have been crazy here.

Fortunately, my daughter's school has sent me a school directory full of fodder, so I'll happily jump right in with the first atrocity that jumped out at me:


Because I guess someone's parents never watched The Smurfs.

He's got an average, ordinary, American-sounding last name, so they can't plead ignorance due to foreign customs (although they may plea insanity).

Maybe the parents were really young, and somehow slipped in the cracks between The Smurfs being on tv all the time and, well, The Smurfs being on tv all the time. I don't know.

Now, anything with "el" at the end is usually an angelic name (Michael, Uriel, Gabriel) and so we can conjecture that perhaps the parents were just trying for a unique angelic name, since Michael and Gabriel are so common and Ariel is now mostly a girl's name. (I can't say anything here, I named my son after The Little Mermaid, too. Just not, you know, Ariel.) Anyway, if they wanted to name the kid after an angel, I'm just saying that there are better angelic names out there (all of them).

I guess it could have been worse... the poor kid could have been named "Gargamel".