Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The First Snark

I've been wanting to create this blog for a while and never have, but yesterday I saw the straw that broke the camel's back.

You see, I've always been annoyed by the names people give their kids these days. I'm a big fan of classic names, and I hate the cutesy crap that people come up with now. Jayden might be cute now, but that kid's going to grow up someday, and he won't thank you for inflicting a name of terminal cuteness on him.


I was at Target yesterday, and the lady in front of me had a diaper bag emblazoned with the name "Shepard."

I have issues with this.

For one thing, it's misspelled. "Shepherd" is what you want in this case, and that's actually not a bad name if you don't mind naming your kid after someone who couldn't be trusted to do anything else with his life other than follow sheep around the hills.

For another thing, the way it's misspelled is particularly bad. "Pard" means "spotted", so you just named your kid "spotted female". I'm sure he'll thank you for that later.

And a third thing: I know this person named their kid after McDreamy. Don't pretend you didn't. It's ok; both of my kids are indirectly named after Sex in the City (although my husband vehemently denies it). I just did it with a tad more subtlety.

I'll try to keep this updated for your viewing pleasure. Fair warning: I have a twisted sense of humor, and NO patience when it comes to bad names. Just get me started sometime on the poor football player named Jaquizz....


  1. Oh, I could give you names! I have less problem with cutsie, and more with totally made up names! I have many times asked a mother what she is going to name her baby, and when she tells me, she then asks ME how to spell it. If you make it up, spell it however you want! Aunt Jane